The LOVE THAT WAS NEVER SATISFYING..

One day, I, on my way to School, made a strange incident, In fact a beautiful incident. Someone came towards me and said, “excuse me somebody wants to meet you.” “Who”, said, I. “a gal.” replied. I didn’t understand. I smiled away as if a joke, and stepped for my School.”The next day, to my surprise the same person appeared in front of me again and said, “Sorry to keep bothering you, but she really wants to meet you.” In addition, left a chit to me, I was so foolish; I didn’t even bother to ask why? most importantly the caller’s name. However, the chit reads like this, “Life is only worth living once. Hi…ii, my name is Percy Shelley, and I’m sorry for the absurd behavior. But Please help me, the world is turning around me, while I am standing still. Be an angel and save me from this emptiness and loneliness. I’ll wait for you at the cafe. I believe you’d come.” why? I never knew. However, the phrase ‘Angel’, ‘Save me’, kept questioning…, cos I am just an ordinary being like her and not an angel.after the class, as I walk on, for home, I found my legs leading me towards her. I didn’t realize until she came and said, “hi, I knew you’d come. Thank you for coming, have a seat.” And continued saying, “life is pretty much unpredictable, we never know what the future is in store for us.” She introduced herself once again “My name is Percy Shelley.” U?” call me “Margrit” ”do I know you?” I asked. “nope you don’t know this lonely gal. Nor does she know you… Can she be your fren…pliz”. She Replied. She did all the talking I was speechless. I kept staring at her. She was beautiful, her voice as if an angel’s, so soft, long black hair, perfectly chiseled nose and eyes that spoke a thousand unspoken words. Everything in her was perfect…..but there was a flicker of something in them, I couldn’t define. That day was the only day when she spoke so much. After which I could hardly hear her angelic voice. Now, by the beginning of autumn, I, Margrit and Percy dated regularly. I became addicted to her and to her beautiful quotes. A day seems incomplete w/o her and chits, pondering she too felt the same. Every day she writes beautiful quotes for me, they came from the heart and cut through the heart. ,… God knew, how happy I was.. She was right and so the time was.! “I love you, not because of what you have done for me, but because of what I feels.. I care for you, not because you need care but because I want to.. I'm always here for you, not because I want you to be with me but because I want to be with you...” said She, never knowing what she did for me.. Most… importantly!!!.Our dating went on…...I never realize when Percy became apart me. I could hardly breathe w/o her. She did something to me, I couldn’t define, yet it was the best part of me, I could remember. Percy taught me how to love someone truly, and erased the idea of flirting with many..!!!! After every end of our dates, Percy thank me and repeated the same quote to me, “If I had to count the reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you...I'd have to count forever.” I never realize why she repeated the same, every now and then.Every day Me and Percy dated in the same place, set beneath the same tree…. We talk about love, stories, movies, shared our past memories and likeness, etc.! Besides that, we didn’t talked about any other thing. We just lived in a world of our own. One day Percy turned, looking into my eye and said, “I want something of yours, Margrit? Write to me something….anything, so that I might take it with me.” “Sure, I’d love to!” I replied. But what to write, I didn’t know. Writing was something I always hated. But for her sake I tried to…! , in fact wrote many….she was glad to have them, so was I to write to her. Every day we both set beneath the same tree and wrote quotes/chits to each other, though nigh. Through Percy I’ve learned that even I could write beautifully…Though not that gud enough as compared to hers, and could be so romantic. Everything was good and perfect in our circle of frenshipAlas! Only God knew, what went wrong? She grew cold, talked strange and wrote strange. “I’ll take with me everything gifted by you when I leave, and will read it every day cos I love you every day and I miss you every day. I’ll take the love you gave me, I’ll take the memories you spent with me, I’ll take the quotes/chits you wrote to me. I still remember every word you’ve spoken even that I’ll leave not behind” Percy said, then tears roll down her cheek... Mergrit, “Percy, You asked me to be an Angel and save you, I couldn’t get it, But I came though I am not an angel..!! Your eyes speak a thousand unspoken words I am sorry I caN’T define them. Won’t you share/ tell me what’s going through you.” I tried to let her share, I force, to let her speak….But she won’t…Percy mummers, “Margrit, get me in your arm tightly.” As I embrace her, she continues again, “Very soon, very soon, you’d be let known of everything.” A seconds later, ”Margrit why did you come?“ I remained silent???. She turned towards me and kissed me on my cheek……!!, Continue “ Margrite, you really are an angel. I am so happy to be with you... I Love you!” “What’ll you be doing all these days if you weren’t dating with me/ we didn’t met.”–Percy- I replied, “ I’ll be flirting around fooling myself.” Percy, smiled “are you flirting with me? But I don’t mind” laughed.The time of our ‘departure’ was nearing with the end of autumn, but I never knew all I know was….just the ‘beginning’. I still remember the day. it was a Sunday, we dated by the morning till the evening. I didn’t got tired of her and I didn’t got tired of writing to her. I know she was glad too. She did all the silly and childish things, she ran, she jumped, she laughed at all silly things as if all her pain were washed away and they no longer lingers in her. She also collected sea shells, rare shape stones……..etc and gifted me at the end of the day, saying “forget me never”. Percy calling me…….. ran towards me.. ”Margrit, you know I love pink color, why you never bring me pink roses.” ahhahh…. Margrit apologies, “yeahh.! I am sorry I never did…&.., I never … thought.???” added ...”I promise I’ll bring lots & lots of pink roses… tommor.” Percy, “I’ll be very glad to have them from your hand, babe, but I’m scared, if tomorrow never comes.” Looking me in the eye, she smile and turned away, beneath the tree. By now, sun was setting down and evening was hitting up. Percy call’d me “Margrit” as I kept standing still, “come, sit close to me”. Her voice was soft like and Angel’s, yet so melancholic. I could make it out, her heart was growing cold once again. Only God knew what was going through to me too?...I took out a shawl from her bag and covered her and kiss her on her cheek, forehead and eyes as she close them when I kissed her. And embrace her in my arm…. Percy,” Why didn’t you kiss me from before” added, “that’s the best I ever had and better than lots & lots of pink roses.” “why” I replied… she took a seconds and responded, “roses wither away, I can’t not prevent them from withering away but kisses don’t wither away.” added “If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you”. She tried to smile but couldn’t. Tears roll down her cheek once again.At the end of the day, she promised to meet 3 days later. “I’d be busy,” Said she, and left. She knew, she never gonna see me again, never gonna date me again cos she knew, she had only a few hour left to live. That’s why she had been crying all these days. I never knew the reason/causes of her tears… Yet she never shared. I never knew, these happy moments would one day turn to a curse to me, and I never knew, behind these eyes would lie so much pain, so much tear and full of regrets.!! She betrayed me, she lie to me, when I didn’t..??? she made promises in vain cos she never came back again, while I kept waiting. I saw her never again, but all I could see was her grave beneath the tree where we once sat and dated. I never knew I could feel so much pain, and yet be so in love with the person causing it.She leaves with tears and now I am alone with tears, left out. Percy did something to me, Tears slipped down my cheek. I sat beneath the tree, beside her grave and wrote to her in pain and regrets, “Loving you was easy, losing you was hard. Loving you is still easy, but knowing you and me are never gotta be together in this life, is the hardest of it all.” ”You're the reason behind my smile, you're the reason behind my laughter, behind my happiness...because you've showed me what true love is all about? But I never thought you're also the reason for my tears and for experiencing the greatest pain that could ever happen to me...Yet still I’m so much in love with you.” “They say that if you love someone you should let them go, but they never say what to do when they don't come back.” ”you did something to me I neither could define it, nor would I will ever forget it.”I knew deep inside my heart she won’t get them to read... So never I expected, never thought she’d speak to me again in this life… but that wasn’t true. She came and indeed, she talked to me in a different way, was that a dream or something else I couldn’t define. …, “Just when I thought that happiness could never be a part of me, that's when you came along and showed me happiness!”……. “You too did something to me I never could define, but I never could forget.”…….. “Never regret because it ended, but instead be glad that we met”… “I promise I’ll be with you every day being you Shadow.” Then, I woke up in the middle of the lonely night and found tears still rolling down my cheek...Now, I know one thing is true...; everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever.............

LIFE..........ITS OWN MEANING.

Why do I go day by day, stopping my self from ending it all? Is it because I'm afraid of what happens when I'm dead? People say, when you die you rest for all eturnity, in the most incredible place of all. Where streets are paved with gold, and people never gring their teeth. But if your heart is heavier than a feather, then you burn in a lake of flames for all eturnity. Her name was Emily... at first an ordinary girl, who I saw and hung out on the weekends, then to buying the occasional gift for. Next thing I knew I was having the most beautiful day of my life with her... (virginity.) We lived and loved for six long years, she took the greast days of my life with her when she left, all the times through heart ache, and hearted love. She was there for me, and I was there for her. But the day my heart was ripped from my chest was the worst beggining of the start of the last days of my life, (indepth thinking, but makes perfect sense if your good with grammer.) So now I remain clueless everyday of why I never saw her again. We were ready for a full day of fun and excitment, but when I woke up she was gone. With people make fun of people like me of the "perfectly wrong love story" with movies of comedy, joking around with my life, thining it's "ha-ha larious," (critic phrase.) Maybe I should show them all how "funny," it is for people like me. Maybe I should just... This was writen not based off my life, but I'm sure there are many people in this world that feel like this. Once again this was written as a fiction essay... Thanks for Reading, please give advise, and comments... take it easy though I'm only forteen... Thanks Again!

FRIENDS

We happen to face different people at different stages of life . Even the friends. I am very much satisfied by the article scrippled on the Himalayan Times (i am sorry for i forgot the name of the writer. He has categorised the friends in three groups.......
1. friends for a reason
2. friends for a season
3. friends for life time.
Here some people come in our life as a friend for certain reason . They help us and be with us till we complete our certain purpose. They show us and help us in understandin the differebt aspects of our life and helps us to tackle or deal with the problems . Even some are there to drag us to the new direction or make us change the track we are following, either wrong or right. No matter after the compleition we get apart either knowily or unknowinly.and the next here a friends come to our life ,teaches us to smile , enjoy and helps us to deal certain things. They are like God gift 2 us, they stay for a season but teach us a valuable lesson and go away from us. the reason might be anything. sometimes u both may get misunderstandings and separate, or sometimes u or he try to keep a distance and in this way this friendship ends but leaves a great mark..........the third one the frienmd for a life time. Which goes on with u without any selfish motive. U quarrel , u smile and u share ur life with eachother . U both are made for eachother. Relationship between two life parterners fall on this group.......I really liked the view presented by the writer on his article . Thou i hav written here in my own language .A selfless friend really matter a lot in life . I know its hard to get one who is indeed a very good friend but lets try to be one. If everyone try to be so , then we all together can be good friends to eachother......................

..जिबन सँग जोडीएका केही सम्बन्ध हरु....

जहाँ सुर्योदय हुन्छ शायद त्यहा सुर्यास्त अवश्य हुन्छ सदा सर्वदा पुर्णिमा कहाँ हुन्छ ? अौसीमा चन्द्रमा त आध्यरो सिरकले मुख छोपी रुन वाध्य हुन्छ यहाँ सुखको पछाडि रोदन र रोदनको पछाडि खुशी अवश्य हुन्छ शायद संसारको रित यस्तै नै हो जन्मपछी मृत्यु अकट्य छ जीवन भएको स्थनमा मृत्‍यु पक्कै हुन्छअन्तर्मनमा अन्कुरिएका ति असंख्या चाहनाहरु जो जिउनुको अर्था खोज्दै भौतारिरहेका हुन्छन हासो,खुशी,आशु,रोदन,मिलन,विछोड, सन्जोग र वियोग संगै सम्झौता गरी समयकै दोशी बन्न आफ्नो गन्ताब्यहिन यात्रालाई छोटयेका हुन्छन संघर्श जो जीवनको उपहार हो त्यसैसंगै लडी आफु आफुमै जीवनतसम्म अपरिचित भई समयको आवेग् संगै लछारिदै पछारिदै हर एक ब्यक्तिसँग परीचित भएर बाच्नुको अर्थ शायद जीवन होलाजीवन असिमित् आरोह र अवरोधको गुच्छा हो ति गुच्चाहरुमध्ये कसैको निधार मा बिझाउने काडा होला त कसैको निधार मा लटरम्म फुल्ने फुल होला जेहोस् जीवन आफैमा सर्वश्रेठ छ र महान पनि छके मैनबत्तिको अस्तितो केही छैन त ? जो महान छ आफु जल्छ रुन्छ पग्लन्छ प्रकाश छरिदिन्छ शायद महान र बलिदानको परिभाशा भनेको यही नै होला सबैलाई उज्यालो आ-आफ्नो मतलब र स्वार्थ रहनछ यो मतलबी संसारमा यहाँ मैनबत्तिको आशुको प्रभाव कसलाई ? सबैलाई उज्यालो भए पुग्ने तर मैनबत्तिको पिडा सम्झने को ? यो संसारमा पिर,पिडा,चित्ता र दु:खबाट कोही स्वतन्त्रा छ? भगवान गौतम् बुद्ध पनि रहेनन कहिले बुढा मानिस् लाई देखेर त कहिले मरेको लाशलाई देखेर हरेक नयाँ बिहानिले नवजीवनको शुरुवात गराउदछ पुराना बिझ्ने काडाहरु मनबाट झिकेर फ्यक्दै अघी बढ्नुपर्छ हाम्रो भाग्यले हाम्रो सहन् शक्तिको परिक्षा दिन जिन्दगीका बाटहरुमा हजारौ बाधाहरु तेर्स्याउदछन् तिनलाई पन्छाउदै अघी बढ्नुपर्दछ बहादुरिको सबैभन्दा ठुलो परिक्षा त्यही हो बितेका कुरा सम्झना र अनुभव हुन आउने समयलाई समयको चित्रालाई आँखामा उतारी तस्नुपर्दछ तिनैलाई साकार रुप दिने सपना खेलाउनुपर्दछ विपना खुलाउनुपर्छ हरिया रुखका सम्पूर्ण पातहरु शिशिरले झारिदिन्छ पत सदाका लागि ति रुखहरु उजाड कहिल्यै हुँदैनन आँफै वसन्त आउँदैन बनभरी राताम्मे जुन फुलहरु फुलेका छन ति सबैले शित र वर्शातको आशु अनी असिना र घामको संघर्श बोकेका छनगूण देरै खायो भने तितो हुन्छ रे यो अवस्य हो यो कुरा सत्य छ तर यहाँ गूणको के दोश स्वाद चाख्न्ने जिब्रोको होइन र ? प्रेमलाई पुतलिको खेलौना सम्झने धोकेबाजहरु मायाको भाषाले जिन्दगीको परीभाषा दिन मुर्खता मात्र हुन्छ सपना र विपनाको बिचमा अन्तर यही होला शायद मेरो विचारमा,,,.............देखेका सपनाहरु अक्सर विपनामा आएर भत्कने गर्दछ बितेका ति क्षेणहरुलाई एउटा सग्या दिएर बिहानिको उदयसँग जिन्दगीलाई दोर्याउनु बुद्धिमानी हो हो केही मन रोइदेला हृदयले नमान्ला त्यही पनि परिस्थिती त्यस्तै पर्न आयो भने कसैलाई बलिदन पनि गर्नुपर्छ मनलाई यती बलियो बनाउनु कि बिस्वासघात् वा निस्ठुरिको सम्झनाले मन कहिले नरोओस र परेलिबाट मोती नझरोस हामी पनि मान्छे हौ हामी अरुको स्वार्थको लागि विश पिउने पशुपतिथ त अवश्य बन्न सक्दैनौ कसैले हाम्रो मुटु टुक्रा टुक्रा पारीदियो भन्दैमा के हामी स्वयमले आफ्नो मुटुमाथि छुरी घोचेर छिया छिया पार्नु उचित छ कसैले तिम्रो मुटुमाथि चोट पुर्याउछ भने आफुले झन चोट थप्नु उचित हुन्छ ? यहाँ जिन्दगीलाई वर्तमानले सम्झाउनुपर्दछ हामीले हाम्रो जिन्दगीलाई बगैचाको फर्केको फुलले सजाउनुपर्दछ झरेका पातहरु गनेर अवस्य होइन हामीले हाम्रो रातहरु आशुले सिरानी भिजाएर होइन छायाहरुलाई गनेर होइन आकाशका ति ताराहरु गनेर बिताउनुपर्दछ जीवन वास्तवमा आशैमा अडिएको छ सुर्यतिर फर्किएर अघी बढ्यो भने छाया स्वत: नै पछाडि नै पर्छ जब सेता परेवाहरु कागहरुसँग घुलमिल गर्न थाल्छन् तिनका आँखामा सेतै रहन्छ तर मुटु मन भने कालो नै रहन्छ अक्सर धोकेबाजहरुको मन यसरी नै कालो बनेको हुन्छ जब तिनले कागबाट धोका पाउछन तब मात्र यथार्थको आँखाले हेर्न थाल्दछन पश्ताचापमा जल्छन तिमी अब त्यसदिनलाई प्रतिक्षा गर धैर्या गरेर पर्खन सक्नुपर्दछ प्रतिक्षाको फल मिठो हुन्छपाउजु नलगाई पनि शायद मजासँग नाच्न सकिन्छ विगतलाई बिर्सिएर वर्तमान अगाल्दै बाँच्न सकिन्छ म आँफैसँग मेरो जुत्ता हराएर चिन्तित भए तर अलि पर अगाडि पुगेपछी एउटा खुट्टा नभएको मान्छे देखे मसँग कमसेकमा खुट्टा त छ यहाँ धर्तिमा तिम्रालागी फुलेका फुललाई बिर्सेंर तिमी आकाशको तारा तिप्न हात नफैलाउ सबै कुराको आ आफ्नो सुन्दर्ता हुन्छ पसलेले मात्र जान्दछ हिराको मूल्य सिसा पसलेले तिम्रो महत्व बुझिदिएन भनेर के तिमी आँफैलाई टुक्राउन सुहाउछ ?तसर्थ संघर्श नै संघर्शको जीवन झेली संसारमा अडनुपर्छ साथी विस्वासहरु बनाउदै आफुले अघी बढ्ने कोशीस गर्नुपर्दछ आफ्नो मनलाई बाधिराख्न्नुपर्दछ फुत्कन कहिल्यै दिनुहुदैन तिमीलाई काडाकाडाको भुमरिमा फसाएर आफु तर्की जानेछ त्यसैले कसैले कसैको विस्वास नगर्नु किनकी ढुङ्गाको चोट खानुपर्दछ माया कसैले कसैलाई नबुझिकन नगास्नु निश्टुरी मन पनि हुनसक्छ त्यसैगरि तिम्रो कलिलो मुटुमा तिखो काडा घोची मायाको नाउमा तिमीलाई खेलौनाको पात्र बनाइदेला please be careful in your love .....................